Hello, are you there?

Picture this: a peacefully quiet living room, 2 dogs, a woman reading a book snuggled up on the coach under a blanket.

The phone starts to ring. The dogs lift their sleepy heads and look at the woman. She has a disturbed look on her face and looks at the phone from the corner of her eye and mumbles "shut up, I am not here" before she return to her reading. The ringing is persistent and even seems to get louder. The dogs become restless, the noise hurting their ears so they decide to sing along and howl. Thank God, the ringing stops, everybody sighs deeply and settles down again.

After a while a voice disturbs the silence.

"Hello, hello! I know you are in, I have been calling, but you don't react... so I decided to drop by to have a chat." It is a man's voice, hesitant because of the intrusion, but warm and polite. The woman continues her reading and her eyes only leave the book for a second while she looks at the phone. The voice seems to come from that direction. She decides to ignore it, it's safer. Before you know you are having a conversation with an apparatus and completely loose your sanity. Back to silence.

"Hmmm, hmmm. Sorry to insist, but as your second best friend (your laptop being nr. 1, which hurts a little because I knew you first) I have your best interest at heart and we really need to talk. So, if you don't mind. Please?

Annoyed she closes the book and sighs. "Well, what's up? Couldn't you send me an email instead of invading my privacy like this? I suppose it can not be too difficult for two devices to communicate with each other!

"Hell no, says the voice, I refuse to communicate with the enemy and furthermore he is the competition. Now just listen and I will leave you to your reading again. I have been watching you lately. You are just pretending to read, you are daydreaming and every other minute your eyes wander over to look at the phone. Actually you are dying to pick it up and call that guy. I must be crazy to mention this, even more competition! Why don't you? If you want to hear his voice that badly and it makes you feel better. I have checked your inbox to look for your phone bill. Sorry, but in love and war, everything is fair. I was just worrying that my advise is too expensive for you. I was amazed! You talked to him for two whole hours and it only cost you 7 euros. I tried to calculate what that would be per second and it's just such a small amount the calculator couldn't even handle it. Pick up the phone and call him, please. Please do it for me as well. I want to help!

The woman stops looking at the phone, turns her eyes to the ceiling and sighs deeply because it helps to suppress the giggle she feels coming up. "Well thank you for your concern, I will think about my friend. Could you please leave now... and next time, send me a fax, ok?" Without waiting for a reaction she starts on the next chapter.

The dogs look at each other in amazement and the oldest one whispers "Stupid phone, before you know this guy is moving in and we will be stuck with the competition. And he is the jealous one? Let's have a nap and think out a strategy, shall we?

Copyright © Arlette Ferber. All rights reserved.